


Sweet Talk

by BoomButterflyEffect



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Halloween Costumes, Kit Kats vs. Crunch Bars, M/M, Mention of Jade - Freeform, Mention of Karkat, Mild Language, One Shot, comission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6728101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoomButterflyEffect/pseuds/BoomButterflyEffect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a successful night of too-old trick-or-treating, John and Dave have a very serious debate. Pairing: DaveJohn, JohnDave, PepsiCola, Hammertime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Talk

"Two-hundred eighteen, two-hundred nineteen. Ha! Take that, Strider!" John Egbert pushed all of his Halloween candy a little forward on the Striders' dining room table so his best friend could witness John's winnings. "I think it's safe to say that I am the new Trick-or-Treat champion."

"Think again, Egderp. Consider this a lesson for the future: never challenge a Strider." Dave copied John's gesture as he leaned back in his wooden chair. "Four-thirteen."

John's mouth fell open in shock. How did Dave get almost double the amount of candy he did? They both went to the same exact houses! "Wha—You're so lying to me. How is that even possible?!"

The blonde shrugged and pulled his treats toward him. "The ladies at the door couldn't turn me down. I've got my secret weapon, remember? I've got the cool."

"Well, I've got the cute!"

Dave shook his head and chuckled. "That may be, John, but you'll never be more kawaii than I am cool." But John just pouted and muttered a whiny "whatever." Not that it was a big deal or anything. Both boys were getting way too old to take Halloween seriously—that was a holiday for dorky kids. But John Egbert was a dorky kid—a dorky young man—who took Halloween seriously. And this dork knew he was more "kawaii" in his Ghostbusters costume than Dave was cool in his knight get-up, anyway.

The boy's thoughts of accomplishment were cut short as Dave popped a sucker into his mouth and sat upright in his seat again. "All right, trade time. Share the wealth, Egbert."

Both mounds of candy were piled together in the center, and the friends leaned forward in order to see what they could take. As this exchange happened, John couldn't help but notice how every Kit-Kat was the first treat to go into Dave's pile before he went after the rest. He found it kind of cute how the other made a separate section specifically for them too, and decided to do the same with Crunch Bars. Once both were satisfied with their collections they dug in, the brunette still glancing at the mountain of red wrappers with a silly grin. "Jeez Dave, you're really hogging those Kit-Kats, aren't you? I think you have an addiction!"

Looking up at the sound of his name, Dave cocked an eyebrow. "You're pretty much hoarding those Crunch Bars over there," he said, unwrapping one of his precious chocolates, "but I'm the one with a problem?"

"I am not 'hoarding' Crunch Ba—Oh." John finally noticed exactly how tall his pile of said Bars turned out to be. "Huh. Yeah, you're right, I am. Man... there's no way I'll be able to eat all these." The boys had planned to finish all their candy before morning, or else John would have to bring them home with him from Dave's house—and knowing his ecto-sister, Jade would steal a few. She liked Crunch Bars almost as much as he did. And getting rid of all of them would be a lot harder now. Raising one to his lips, he asked, "Want to help me eat these?"

"Nah, I'm good," Dave replied without even a quick glance up. "I don't like Crunch Bars."

Slam. John's fist hit the table automatically, and when he spoke his voice dripped with disgust. "'Don't... like... Crunch Bars'? Are you nuts?"

"What makes you think that?"

"They're the exact same thing as Kit-Kats!"

"Oh, no. No, no, no." He finally met the other's eyes and leaned forward again, holding a semi-wrapped Kit-Kat out. "Let me educate you, young John-hopper. Allow the teacher to enlighten you. Those two chocolates are not the same First off, the bars themselves aren't even designed the same. Your Crunches"—he reached out to snatch one up only to toss it back at John—"are boring. Rectangular and boring. Look at your bar. Now look back at mine. See, these Kit-Kats were created to break apart so they're easier to eat. Have you seen the commercials?"

John groaned. He had gotten Dave started, and there was no going back now. "Yes, those commercials with the annoying crunching songs."

Dave got even closer then. He was practically in John's face at that point. "Egbert, don't hate on the commercials. The songs aren't annoying, and they're not even songs! Those are beats—get it right. The crunching noises from the Kit-Kats create a sick beat that is awesome to listen to." He broke the candy in half to emphasize his point. "Second," he continued as he took a bite and showed the leftover half of it to John, "look at this thing's center. Just look at it, my friend. It's like a waffle or something, much better than your bar's... crunchy crap."

"'Crunchy crap'?" John did the same as Dave: bit the corner piece off his chocolate to display the inside. "You mean the rice crisp thingies?" When his friend only sat back in his seat and shrugged, the truth hit him. So John asked, "You've never tried a Crunch Bar before, have you?"

The blonde rolled his eyes, which were—as usual—hidden behind a pair of dark shades. "I don't have to try that shit to know Kit-Kats are better."

"But they're practically the same thing!" John whined again. "Come on! Pleeeease?"

"Fine," Dave surrendered. "But only if you eat a Kit-Kat."

"I'm not trying those things!"

"Are you kidding? You just said they're both like the same thing, and you yell at me for not eating a Crunch Bar, but then you refuse to eat a Kit-Kat? It's like you're trying to be ironic—Wait." At last he caught on to John's choice of words and smirked. "You've never had a Kit-Kat before."

John mocked him as a response: "I don't have to try that shit to know Crunch Bars are better."

Dave stared at him in silence for a minute. "Just try the damn candy."

"No way!"

"What's wrong? Want a different type of Kat making contact with those lips of yours?"

John knew who Dave was talking about; he meant their friend Karkat who, based on his actions, seemed to have a weird hate-crush on John. He took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes. "Dave. I am not a homosexual."

A total, complete lie. They both knew John actually was homosexual—just not for Karkat. But Dave wasn't about to call him out on that. "I won't try it unless you do."

Blue eyes stared at (hidden) red, until the battle was lost and John once again groaned. "Okay, okay, fine!" He tossed his half-eaten Crunch Bar at Dave, who traded in his half-eaten Kit-Kat. The glare that passed between them grew intense, like two cowboys in the Wild West awaiting a shoot-out or a barroom brawl. Each chocolate was slowly raised to their mouths and stayed in mid-air until the boy holding it was brave enough to try a bite.

And they were both visibly surprised when the first taste settled. The two of them had been wrong. It turned out Kit-Kats and Crunch Bars weren't the same, or completely different. They were similar, absolutely, but John liked how the Kit-Kat's crunchy center had a different texture from his beloved Crunch Bar's. It was a nice change, and when he glanced up to notice Dave was also enjoying the chocolate, John decided to finish off the entire thing himself. And when it was gone he wanted more.

The wrappers sat empty in front of them for the longest time. It was silent as Dave and John locked eyes, and Dave silently thanked the shades that hid his—he was glad John couldn't see the strange new light that glimmered in them, and it wasn't because of the candy. Instead the brunette shrugged and grabbed a Crunch Bar from his pile. "They're... okay," he lied, taking a bite, "but I think I like my Crunches better."

"Yeah, yours was pretty good," Dave admitted, "but I don't know if I'd say it was better than my Kit-Kat. I'd have to taste it again before making that judgment."

"Then, here. Have another one." John held a new Crunch Bar across the table for his friend to take, but when Dave leaned over he grabbed John's whole hand instead of just the candy that it held, pulling him across the table into a quick kiss.

It may have only lasted a few moments and never evolved into anything extreme, but it was their first kiss together and therefore meant a lot. John's eyes grew wide when he felt Dave's lips softly meet his, but as his heart pounded he allowed himself to enjoy it and even smiled. Unfortunately, Dave pulled away just as quickly as he had started the kiss in the first place. John kept the silly grin plastered to his blushing face and watched as the other boy licked his own lips before he smirked and said, "Yeah, it tastes all right."

"You sure?" John asked, drumming his fingers against the wooden table with feign innocence. "If you need to test it again, that'd be okay."

Dave grinned too—a real, rare smile that made his best friend proud to have caused—and fiddled around with John's costume collar. "You know what, you're right. I think I may just have to."

After a few smiles were exchanged their lips met again, to create a kiss much less safe and gentle as the first. And the no-longer-important candy bars were forgotten.


End file.
